I see him standing in the door way to the room
He asks me a question I don't fully understand
But hes the adult so i just nod
Hoping it's the right thing
Then hes there lifting back the blankets
My mind is racing the smell of cigarettes and beer
His hands linger at my hips
I struggle for breath
Then he's in my underwear
I go rigid with fear then my body betrays me
I feel like I want to cry then he grabs my hand
Leads it to him, down his underwear
I go rigid again he drags my hand to him
I am forced to feel him every inch of him
He is constantly checking to see if anyone wakes
Then he is done, he puts his finger to his lips and exits
I feel so dirty and want to shriek and cry
But I don't afraid to cause a commotion
I just lay there crying in silence knowing
I can't tell anyone who's going to believe me
I'm nine and hes mum's friends husband
So I store it away playing the survivor because victims get no where
Every time I stay at their house I see him standing in my door way
I bundle myself tightly in blankets and pretend to be asleep
Hoping he will go away.
I am a survivor thirteen years on
